This is a tough review to write, mainly because adequately expressing just how much I absolutely loathed everything about it is unimaginable. Nick Alexander has written nine novels and is something of a Kindle sensation, apparently. After reading this sorry excuse for a book, I really cannot fathom why.
So Hannah is 38 years old and has been married to Cliff for 15 years. On a two week holiday to France, with Cliff and their 11 year old son Luke, everything begins to unravel. Her sister, niece and sister’s gay best friend are along for the holiday too. They are all insufferable upper middle class twats who shorten everyone’s name. The gay best friend says horrendous cliched nonsense like “you know how I am around hetties” and is permanently on heat. Hannah is massively uptight, her sister is an irresponsible moron.
As if the broad stroke characterisation was not bad enough, the plot is the most laugh out loud ridiculous, poorly constructed and executed load of hogwash I have read in a really long time. We are supposed to believe that Cliff could successfully deceive Hannah into believing his brother had died for over ten years, by stealing the mail he sends her. Heaven forfend he should ever phone when Cliff is out. When this lie is uncovered, Hannah’s reaction is just so stupid, so unbelievable, so wildly irritating that if it hadn’t been on Kindle, it would have been hurtled across the room.
The ineptitude of Alexander to realistically flesh out his characters or believably relay the events they experience is very cruelly exposed in the deus ex machina he employs to bring it all to a hasty conclusion. It’s crass and stupid in the extreme, and made me wish that Cannonball Read came with a zero stars option. I hated this with the burning passion of a thousand suns. Save yourself the time. Don’t read it.